Passion

Anyone who knows me knows that photography is one of my passions. In fact my sister in law told me that my camera is my third eye! I have been pondering lately ‘why’ is it a passion? Although I don’t know all of the reasons and I don’t consider myself a ‘great’ photographer what I have come up with so far is three main reasons. (and as per usual Kashina style it starts with a story in my past).


My mom and dad love to learn, and they always have books on their own sides of their bed. My mom’s books are always neatly under the bed or one may be right beside her bed, my dad on the other hand, his books are usually spread all over the floor. I am not sure how old I was when I was ‘playing’ in my dad’s books, seeing and feeling the covers just wondering what he was learning about recently, when I came across a book that had been signed by about ten or so men’s names. I recognized one to be my great grandpa Leavitt. Each of the other names I did not know. When you live in Leavitt and Cardston you know EVERYONE and even if you did not know them personally you recognized their name. It struck me as odd that each of the other nine names I did not even recognize. It made me think that each of these men must be dead (because my grandfather was dead), which also made me think that this book had out lasted each of these men. As a thirteenish year old girl this was unfathomable that a book could outlast a person. I did not know these men so their memories did not even live within me. That was the first time in my short life that I knew I would not outlast many of my books, dolls, ‘things’… and who would remember me? Or would I and the existence that I was ever on this earth be gone in less than a decade (the book had a year written in it and it was only 10 years earlier)? I had always liked taking pictures but after this little ‘epiphany’ I took up the hobby a little more seriously, I took pictures of my ‘memories’ or the things that I wanted to remember and the things I wanted people to remember about me (wasn’t even in high school yet, so you can imagine the things I took pictures of, lol)

The second reason is to capture my moments. I have a friend from high school, who owns a little photography business and the name of her business is called ‘freezing time’ and I think it is a absolutely perfect name…. I get lost in moments. When I was pregnant I loved the feeling of my little boy inside me wiggling around, I wanted to ‘freeze that moment’ for as long as I could. When he was first born I wanted to ‘freeze’ his littleness so I could come back to it whenever I needed to. I have loved and treasured so many moments in my life, that is why I love to take a camera with me and ‘freeze’ a portion of those moments. I wont ever really get those moments back, but I love to look at the pictures and remember.

And last… I have a horrible memory. Sometimes my husband will be talking about something we did as a family, something he said, or even something we ate, and I wont remember at all (which worries me!). I take pictures to help me remember the wonderful and even not so wonderful moments in my life. Like last week when my little guy was on a breathalyzer my husband thought I was crazy when I pulled out the camera. I get so sad every time I see the pictures but I want to remember my life.

So those are a few reasons why I love photography, why I love to ‘freeze’ those moments, those times… A flower dies, but in a photo it’s beauty will/can be captured forever… I will die but the photos I have taken and the photos of me will/can last forever... weird I know but if you haven't noticed by now the workings of my mind are pretty weird!